The Healing Force of the Saga

The healing force of the Saga In generations the Folk tales or Sagas have had an immense importance, for the development of children. Bruno Bettelheim, the Austrian-American child psychologist, has written a wonderful book, "Sagan’s enchanted world," where he in a great way describes the children's need for stories. He is however careful to point out that they do not apply to stories in general, but only to the old folk tales, that have been told over and over again through the years, modified and adjusted to eventually become recorded.

The old folk tales have according to Bettelheim ability;
1. To capture children's attention
 2. Excite their imagination
3. Enrich their emotional life
4. Sort out their internal chaos
5. Respond to their fears and expectations
6. Giving full recognition to their difficulties, while giving a hint as to the solutions to the problems they are grappling with.

He believes that the newer stories for children do not have this ability, because they are too indifferent. Here the "evil" is reduced to a minimum because the children authors today seem to believe, that the child is harmed by this kind of atrocities that are represented in the old folk tales. It has shown itself that it is precisely because of the atrocities that the old stories have such a healing effect. By the clear division between good and evil it facilitate for the child to identify with the "good" and thus reject the "bad". At the same time as the "evil" is a key hook on which the child can attach its projections.

Children often have a feeling that they are "evil", which they obviously do not want to recognize and therefore repress. The "evil" becomes Shadows in their subconscious, which they are projected onto people, things and events around the child. This is often unfortunate and has impact on the child itself. Nevertheless, it is inevitable, because The younger a child is the harder it has to host a dualistic world. It can for example still not live with the fact that Mom can be both the "good fairy" and the "bad witch". It is only later in childhood as the child can begin to take in a bit of the fact that everything has two sides, a light and a dark.

It is here the cruel witch of the Saga is so useful to the minor child. Now it has an actual figure to lay out its hatred on. She is OK to condemn, and this reduces the guilt the child otherwise would have felt, every time the shade from the unconscious, showed its ugly snout. To say nothing of the fear it creates, in which small children are forced to imagine witches in the absence of more concrete and "live" ones. Which atrocities, the evil witch or anyone else in the Saga does, they are not worse than the omnipotent and frightening fantasies which the children permanently living with in their interior.

The difference is that in the Saga and in the Dream, children may "remove" the frightening fantasy, shape it and create distance. Now the child can calmly look at its "horror-filled reality", by its knowledge that it is only a dream or a story. This is liberating for the child and reduces its internal fear and anxiety, which he/she otherwise is threatened to be overran by. The child's requirement that the story should be read again and again, allows for an intuitive processing, where the child come to terms with what it needs just then, of emotional nourishment. When the child no longer wants to hear the same story, it is a sign that they have squeezed all nutritive juices which existed in just that Saga. Now it’s time for other stories to better respond to the problems the child in the next phase of development are forced to contend with.

To be continued…. (From my book "Dragons and Demons of the Dream") Part 2

As the child's mental maturity, and with the help of dreams and fairy tales, then the child will be able to take back one projection, after the second and incorporate it in its burgeoning personality. This means that the child can accept and understand that mom can be angry sometimes, but that she may not "eat" you up, and she is still your beloved mam and that in the same person This tucked away stock in the unconscious, cannot the child with help only of the reason understand and assimilate. By contrast, as explained above stories and also the dreams can help the child to come into contact with the unconscious processes, by the deputy saga- and dream figures and their actions

The sagas addresses universal human problems, particularly those that children can identify with, and the stories speak to the child's burgeoning ”I Feeling” encouraging its development, while also easing pressure from the unconscious. The dream and the saga give the child the opportunity to unleash their imagination, create dreams, and projecting their ”part personalities” on the different elements of the saga and dream, related to the unconscious Complex. Bettelheim talking about unconscious impulses.

Whole Bettelheim book about folk tales is analyzed from a Freudian perspective, the terminology differs some from that I using in my book. With a little good will, however, many phenomena and terms are , possible to translate into Jungian psychology. Jung spoke for example not about unconscious impulses but unaware complex. The complex is the ”part personalities” that we displayed to the subconscious and life haunt to get up and be made visible. Jung similar complexes with a network of ”loaded ” images, surrounded by emotions.

To return to the stories and to stick with Jung's terminology, it is therefore our complex the folk tales raise. They are also those who indirectly via the character of the Saga may be a symbolic presentation. These deep inner complex is often overlooked in modern children's literature and Bettelheim believes that the child in this way are left in the lurch. The child's sense of loneliness and alienation, creating an anxiety that they can not dress in words. The old folk tale does the children's difficulties and anxiety of life seriously. It addresses directly; need for love, fear of humiliation, love of life and fear of death. Sagan is also the child's need for heroes, they can identify. Today, this is more necessary than before because there are a plenty of bad TV series and heroes children otherwise are forced to absorb, in the absence of other, more constructive.

Besides there is the psychological value, The saga is also a heritage that is worth passing on. For the children themselves, it is understood the entertainment aspects of the saga that attracts the most.

Yes who do not remember the fairy tales books from our childhood.. Every Saga had its character which has followed us through life... Why did they have such a great impact on us? Yes because they touched something essential

"Silent Night Holy Night" But not for all...

"Silent Night, Holy Night" But not for all...



So the Christmas is coming closer and with it the anxiety of all those children living in emotional and economical misery...

The Holy Night is not for those children whose parents are getting drunk and fight in some kind of missunderstood celebration, where those children who don't become abused themselves are the lucky ones...
The Holy Night is not for those children who can not eat themselves fill, this festival, when so many others are eating themselves sick
The Holy Night is not for those children whose parents cannot afford a single present when other children are drowning in theirs

The Holy Night is simply Not for the " Barefoot Children"


I have tried to translate a poem, I wrote last year, into English. A desperate way to try to illuminate the situation in Christmas time, for these children
If you see these children better then my linguistic errors, I`m pleased *smile*

Silent Night, Holy Night

But not for children in total despair
Longing only for a world that is fair
Watching the star in the peak of the three
While dreaming light-year away to be free

There are no connection between Christmas and peace
For all those who don´t owe a familiar ease
The holy night is covered up with sorrow
And the child just waiting for a better “tomorrow

Waiting for the night to grow light
Days that will turn from black into white
The child is sleeping in the crib of straw
Untouched by a protecting Law

Three vice-man in the desert were coming
All caring gifts, presents and a beautiful thing
Prepared to give to the newborn king
Who this night the world was given

No lefts over for the children of today
Which cannot benefit what the laws say
And the light from the star that guided the there
Don’t shine for those which no longer can see.

In a dejected darkness where the stars died down
There are nothing but fear in the black hole thrown
A temporary forgetfulness spread its covering around
the children of the world and their unhealed wounds

The Source of Peace

Everyone knows that peace and harmony comes from within. If not.. then it is the small child within us who mess it up. A neglected, abused and maltreated child becomes a grown up full with hatred and whit a need of revenge. Some one have to pay…The account has to be settled. It is not only and always just our own miserable childhood, we want revenge. Often this feelings associated with the individual are repressed and instead they are projected out on a culture, a people or a religion.
The basic source is still the same; our inner child and that goes for all kind of violence and cruelty, there is no other origin. To know what this often shameful child can do to our mind and psyche. just look into the nearest Newspaper or turn on the News, and that wherever you are in the world. There you will get your profs of what a destructive power a mistreated child in a grown-up body has. Multiple that child with many thousands and we have a war.

I’m sure you are thinking that it must be more to it . Of course it is. But this is the fundamental reason for all kind of evil. But in a complex society whit different political structures and mixed religions other tensions are added to basic and individuals..
We have to must take the root if you want to eradicate weeds. How to create peace is not only to sing beautiful songs or pray fervent prayers. But more about finding the root of the evil and start there.
A more equitable society, equality between men and women, economic justice and religious freedom are some of the key ingredients of a functioning social system where we can work and call ourselves peacemakers. That as long as we parallel are seeing, confirming and loving our children. Everyone who has contributed t o a happy childhood for anyone are a true pacemaker. Since that child will not use violence in any context. Here I’m not only talking about our own children. But children in general. Children are the responsibility of all of us

If not , and it happen every day, we might as well be the next victim four their internal or external bomb. Since these ”grown-ups children” walk around like ticking bombs in our communities. Sooner or later they explode.
Just look at the various school massacres that happening all over the world periodically, look at all these dirty wars where even women and children get tortured and killed

So let’s start to ”see” the children of today and care for them. Then we do not have to look for their inner, damaged neglected , hateful, depressed whatever, children ”tomorrow”. They are sometimes difficult to find and even harder to heal.

So once again it all starts with the Children, since Peace on Earth are depending on the wellbeing of our Child Within

So let us make this group a forum where we discuss how we best can help the young ones to balance and inner peace. How to save the world by saving its Children

Who is ET?

Last Christmas Holyday I saw that film three times with my four years old granddaughter.
For about twenty years I saw it with my own children. The fascination was just the same now as then.
How comes that certain theme doesn’t get old and out of fashion ?

Just look at the old Fairytales. Now I’m reading Cinderella, The sleeping, beauty and the others for my grandchild, exactly the same fairy tales that my mother once read to me.

That’s really something to think about and try to analyze.

The fairytales demand many pages of explanations and deep psychological analysis so I leave them for now., and will try to concentrate on Et who for the moment are occupying the head of both me and my four years angel, We are talking and taking about that mystery that this alien creates.

Sometimes I think she understands better than we the grown-ups . She is closer to all mystery of life and she lives in a world of fantasy to which we the adults not always have access.

But above all the child within is still very muck alive in this age. They are one and the same.
ET is that child. Maybe monstrous in appearance but since we know him we are not afraid.
How comes , in other way, that children at once they see him say ; How sweet and nice he is.. They should be terrified because what he looks like. But not. They see something else.

Also we the t grown ups who hasn’t such a distance to this inner child can shad a tear for this little fellow. Is it a boy or a girl, how old? Now one can tell. That’s a part of the mystery. A little lovely adorable monster without age and sex, which a whole world came to love and that for generation, and I’m sure for generation to come.

Spielberg has created something great in his creating of this Archetype. “The child within”
We just have to see, confirm and love it.

No matter age or époque he/ she//it talks to all of us. If we cannot get reached by this creature something is wrong , very wrong *smile*

For you who likes the deeper meaning of the old Fairytales I will make a forum, later on, for a more serious discussion. To this group we now also can add ET. HC Anderson couldn’t have said it better.

I’m so fascinated of the fascination that the Children show for this creature. This should need a thesis to make me understand a little bit better . Till then *smile* I have to try to analyze this phenomena myself.
It just have to be comprehensible ;)

Psychology of Violence

WHERE DO THE VIOLENCE COME FROM ?

The dream is one way to get insight in our inner pictures. The other way is our "out actions" (Utspel in Swedish.) A term that I invented in connection with my attempt to describe and analyse psychological projections in our actions.

This unconscious phenomenon when we, in our daily life lay our inner feelings of pain and fear upon other people, things and occurrences in our surroundings, with often destructive consequences in result.
Now it’s not only dream-characters who have to carry our shortcomings and act them out in the dreams, but also living persons who become targets for our projections. It’s here our psychological complexes are starting to play us tricks. When we lay our inward, in form of projections on other people, we give them qualities and opinions which they don’t possess. Then we are responding to these characteristics as if they were real. The world become a reflection of our inner life and our actions a "play" with these reflections.

These phenomenon happens all the time.Just look at a racist, for example, with a low self-esteem and many suppressed emotions of fear and hatred. These feelings have been suppressed for such a long time why he’s no longer aware of theme. Because of this disconnection over time he is not even conscious of possessing them, these painful and banished emotions. Although they are there in his unconscious and operate with strong power.

Here deep inside of him they will create the complex which, as time goes, develops more and more. This grievous complex will steal much of his mental energy and create a diffuse state of anxiety, which has to be reduced. When the racist get in contact with some immigrant, coloured people or just anyone who don’t look or behave like himself, he got a perfect hook for his projections. Now it will be this person or group that have to carry all his own shortcomings. A totally unconscious act. Every time the racist take offence at something with this person or group, he unburden at the same time his own anguish. If we allow this to go on, the racist will not be content only with negative chatter. He will be forced to liquidate, kill if necessary, those expelled aspects of his personality and which he now, with his glasses of projection, sees in other people. Its now he can plant a knife in somebody else’s back and feel relief.

The tragic in this situation is that it’s not his own pain that he has killed but a person of flesh and blood who had to pay for this, the racist’s tendency to project mental stuff on the surroundings.
This, with the actions of the racist, is only one single example of all "out actions" that we can study and analyse in our society. In all the situations where we react and act in an inadequate way, there is psychological knowledge to fetch and to work with, since inadequate actions tells us that projections are involved.



What we have to do, in our capacity as responsible grown-ups, are to confront the young ones with their inner and frightening pictures. These which are shown in dreams and in all kind of "out actions" ( situations very we are overreacting).We have to help our young people to take back their projection by assist them with their integration of rejected aspects of their personality.
It’s important that they dare to see the reality as it actually is which is possible only if they dare to confront themselves, their shadows and complex. If the young ones can see the demons in their own inward they don’t have to find them in the outward. To disarm these monsters from within in a psychological and understandable way will remove the demand for searching revenge and redress in a factual reality.
To confirm someone must mean that we learn to see what cannot be seen but still constitute maybe ninety percent of the human psyche. That is all that exist in the unconscious and then indirectly govern every action and thought.

It’s only through dreams, "out actions" and therapy that we can catch a glimpse of the inner life of a human.How often haven’t we said; How could it happen? After having read about a dread full outrage or experienced it near by. This question is asked, particularly in that case, when we know that the perpetrator is a social person who maybe works, practise sport or is a young student, about whom, everyone in his circle of acquaintances, only have appreciating things to say.
No without the inner pictures we cannot predict the acts of cruelty a person can commit on someone else. But if we, early in a child’s life, allow it’s dreams and "out actions" to guide us, we have the possibility to prevent many of the most destructive crimes later on. That’s why we are obliged to use the information that the dream as well as the "out actions" give to us. We have no excuses, now when we know where to look.

The other group that commit acts of crime are those about which we say, after the offences against somebody or something; What did I tell you? That means that we for a long time have seen how these children have developed in a social destructive way, without doing anything. Here our guilt are total. If we had helped this group at an early stage, by analysing and working with their smaller "out actions" they should have stayed in contact with their feelings something that should have precluded serious cases of crime.

All these my theories about the phenomenon "out action" I have gathered in a book named: Violence of Youth , and describes useful methods which are very much the same as those I use in my dream work with children.
Here in the book I point at different ways to approach the problem and than how to deal with it. In that way none are obliged to say I couldn’t know. Now its more a question about how to use the knowledge in the most effective way.
To do nothing make us accomplices and reinforce the expression that we have the society we deserve.

We all want to create a better world. I´m sure that it means with less violence. That´s why it´s important to me to try to find out; From where do the violence come?
I´m also very interested to take part and share your opinions. There are many ways to look upon the problem, I´m sure, But let us together try to put all the aspects on the table, then we can go from there...*smile*

Pour Les Enfants Du Monde Entier

Yes..

ALL OVER THE WORLD WE EXPLOITE the CHILDREN

How to deal with that fact?




I

Wish we could instead;

PRENDRE UN ENFANT PAR LA MAIN

YES..

TAKE A CHILD BY THE HAND.

Instead of putting a weapon in it or brainwash them

Unreasonable anger is just disguised grief

I have written much about children who are equivalent to "ticking bombs" and where we have to be very careful to avoid an explosion.
We easily forget that children who have not received the necessary assistance is still ticking bombs, or mined, as adults.
The difference is only that it is easier to deal with a child than an adult explosion outbreak.
When you are exposed to things that might get hooked to something painful it’s a healthy reaction to become a little sad, because it raises an old grief or pain.
Those who react with anger in a similar situation are the "deniers" those who are not able to see their pain nor do they want to see their sorrow. For them grief is associated with anger because they have not ”processed” what life has made to them ..

Anger is a defence against grief, and as long as they do not find other ways to deal with it, it is important that the anger may be a defence even if it is destructive
The alternative is that the person totally loses foothold with all that may mean.
It may be helpful to understand from where the sometimes irrational anger comes from. That does not mean that people are mean or evil. It just means that they are in pain. They do not know themselves that the anger does not have any larger connection with what it was all about, even if for example the topic in itself can act as a trigger.

Indefensible Anger is just a repressed and disguised pain

I have called these phenomena "outactings” when you project inner feelings on things, events and persons in your surroundings and no one understands. Something that further sprinkle salt in the inner wounds of the these people.
But nevertheless, we can not go on tiptoe for the existence of mined people in our surroundings. What we can do is warn the people in question that they need help with "defusing."

Everything is possible to understand ... The question is just if we are up to..

But at least we must keep in mind that their anger are just disguised grief

Mother and Child

The relationship with our mother is our most complex attachment.
She was there before we were aware that we existed. She sheltered our lives and nourished us through the umbilical cord.
There are no limits and the child live in a symbiotic relationship with his/her mother. A symbiosis that continues even after birth. It is obvious that this creates the strongest attachment of them all.
Desperate are the mother and child connected which create ambivalent ties.
Already through the breast milk, perhaps even through the umbilical cord, the child will have access to a mother of both "good" and "evil" by that ”mother archetype” she constitute for her child.
In consequence the ambivalence to the physical mother often becomes greatly
A duality that may be hard to handle for both mother and child..


It is often the first and sometimes the last word we say is: Mom. She is the beginning and the end by the immense power that she has is capacity also of ”the great mother” and her archetypal energy .
A part that in all probability no living mother can live up to.
But in the child's world and even for many adults Mother Earth, is around which, as they in ancient times believed, all the other planets are spinning. So even the sun, as in the myths symbolise our father, who with his power and energy gives life and warmth to Mother Earth.
Our mother is the soil where our talents to grow or atrophy is entirely depending on the nutritional care the small plant will have. So we are vulnerable

Many children plants seeking convulsively to detain in the crumbs of earth they have been assigned to, grow despite all odds, blow themselves up through the asphalt if necessary. They are our, in Swedish called ,”maskrosbarn” (dandelion child)

Others die from that malnutrition. Some feel uncomfortable to have been fattened up
So there is the group whose "Earth" has been "good enough"
As mothers we don’t need to be any more than humans. We can never live up to the myth of ourselves anyway. We have to be satisfied with just being "good enough"

We had no chance to choose our soil. We had to make the best of the offered
But never the less how little fuel there was , for most of us Mum is always Mum.

Precisely because the relationship is so associated with the greatest of myths, riddles and mysteries; The emergence of life.

The Child Within

Sing for the inner child

Our innermost room

There is a door that rarely opens
It’s too fare away from eyes to see
We have to search for a chance to find it
And we have to enter to be free
GC

Like a bubble of soap

Fragile as a bubble of soap swirls and dances you in the shimmering colors of a rainbow
creating a magical world with your glow.
We believe we can catch a bubble
we believe we can keep it for ever tight but if we try we lose it.
Childhood last just one Swedish summer night
The magic is not there for ever and the dance will end and bubbles all dissolve
But we were there and saw it happy for being once involved /gc


We here so often people say that we have to take care of our inner child.
But who is our inner child?

The Child Within belongs to all of us, But many don’t dare to neither see or feel it.
What should happen it we gave light to that hidden child within.?
No… who wants to know?

Yes we try to sublimate are inner needs by giving and once again giving to others and that helps for the moment, maybe also in the long run. Because giving or doing something for someone else is a way to refill one selves. A meaningful way too. But that doesn’t mean that the child within doesn’t catch up with us some day, sooner or later.

If that child is a neglected one you are responsible for not giving it what your parents weren’t capable to. That child is now in your care, since the day you was called grown up. But none will get older than the child they are caring inside. You can try to save the world , you may even succeed, but that’s no guarantee for that your own inner child is saved.

There exist people, I do know ,which have no neglected child within.
They are given from their abundance That’s good .
But the majority of us don’t belong to that group.
We are giving of our deficit in an unconsciously hope to get something back.
We have to see and admit our inner child because he or she is the one who unconsciously
governs our lives. .

How could anyone ever tell you …. That you was anything but a Miracel

But that happened.

You was not always told what a miracle you were and the neglected child hide itself deep within.. It is that child we have to find...

What went wrong for the children in our Western countries?

When we deprived them of spirituality, authority
respect, moral, limits, parent’s time and so on.
Did they become happier from the new lifestyle which we delivered them?

No... so many young people in the Western countries are using anti depressive medicine and the suicides are increasing, to say nothing of alcohol abuse in early teen ages and drug abuse. It’s really too sad.

We are not poor but in the eyes of the children I can see a “poverty “ I didn’t even see in the look of the children in India living in orphanages. Their eyes were full of hope and trust something that has been lost in many eyes of the western children. Still their stomachs are more than filled up and they are surrounded by ”things” whose volume is close to drown them.




But are they happy ?

No ..for very many of them , I don’t think so..

So what went wrong in our modern and wealthy nations?
That is a question for the world to solve.
What price, had the so called devolved countries to pay for the their welfare and who paid it?.
I think it was the Children.




They were deprived of parent’s time, Those who were picked out to see, confirm and love them. But they havn’t ´time enough since they are too busy to fulfil themselves, in a modern western style .

Yes it’s much more to say and there are of course many more explanations of why it went wrong. But it’s all for now.
I now want to listen to you, specially those who are representatives
for the rest of the world. I want so much to hear your opinions and your analyzes.

What did we do wrong?

Children`s Dreams

I have learned from booth C G Jung, Freud and many of their imitators that the dreams of children have no profound meaningful significance. But when I had seen how useful dream work had been for my own well-being, I wanted to examine if I could use my own theories and experiences on the dreams of my children. Dreams which they presented to me almost every morning.

I started to look for literature on the subject. However there was not a single book to be found, not in my own language (Swedish) and neither in any other language, as far as I knew, at this time. But I found many books that indirectly told me it wasn't worth trying. This was already said by the greatest authorities on the subject; Jung and Freud, maybe that's why almost none after them dared to give the children's dreams a serious chance.


That didn’t discourage me, on the contrary. I started to collect their dreams and write them down, also the dreams they had told me before. Then, my husband and I, went ahead to systematically work with their dreams.

                              

I used many of the methods that I had utilized in my dream-work with grown-ups. Then I also had to create some specially designed methods that fitted better to the children's needs. We have been working for over fourteen years, and I'm very astonished.


How could anyone say that children's dreams was nothing but, more or less nonsense, or as Freud said just a question of desires. What I have seen and experienced is that the dreams of children have as much to tell us about their inner well-being as those of grown-ups. I have got so many clues to how I best can help a child to find it’s inner balance.


Dream-work became one of the most efficient therapeutic method, in our work with these profoundly injured and abandoned children. All the experiences I gained and all the discoveries I made I have collected in a book named; Dragons and Demons of the Dream, published 1999 in Sweden. (It’s not yet availed in English) Here in the book everyone can see beautiful examples of what Jung called a "big dream", where there are more Archetypes to find than in many of the grown-up ones.

The Shadows also lie in wait for them everywhere, until we together, in our common dream-work, shed light upon them and integrate them in their consciousness and waking-life. There is one great difference between how you treat a child-dream compared with a dream of an adult.




The psychological interpretations will and must never be presented for the youths. By working with their dream, using all the methods I have presented in my book, the young one will, in an intuitive way, take care of what comes up from the exploration of his dream, without having the interpretation forced on him. He doesn't have to understand his dream with his intellect, since the dream works in it's own way through intuition and the young ones are very close to this state of mind. They get every-thing they need to recover from their "illness" without having had one single symbol explained to them. That’s how it works.

I have seen it and verified it throughout all these years when I have been working with children as well as their dreams. I think that I'm one of the first person to systematically and over many years have followed, studied, interpreted and actively worked with the dreams of children, and also have had the unique opportunity to follow up my work, my theories, and the well-being of my children, since they lived day and night with us.


Dream work is very important for all these children who fight a meaning-less battle with all their inner shadows, which they, if we don’t help them, project on evens, persons and things and than accordingly respond to, often with sad consequences, while we, the grown- ups stand besides and shake our heads. If we took their dreams serious, we could avoid many of the tragedies we witness today.

(From my book Dragons and Demons of the Dream)

The silent glance

The silent glance

Am I good enough? Available in exemplary sense of us all and labelled from the fact that no child can bear to punching out from their parents' patronage and approval.

This often means that children are forced to restrain their natural emotion impulses to be accepted and continue to "check up" throughout his childhood, whether he / she is approved or not.
Nothing is for a child as frightening as the threat of "homelessness" from the loss of a parent's love

”The silent glance” a term coined by James Hollis, Jungian, then continues in school, at work, in the family in society and on the Internet and its various forums

We check constantly whether we will do. A behaviour that persists from childhood and the feeling that was connected with just our parents, are then projecting out on other authorities in our lives

This implies that we are not living fully for fear of offending someone or awake anyone’s s antipathy. As this touches our old childhood fears of loosing our parents' care and protection
Therefore, I believe that so many children and subsequently adults have stifled their personality, emotions, etc. just to be loved

What would happen if all adults released their inhibitions, lived out their feelings and dared to declare all their thoughts and reflections without ”checking up” first whether it was viable or not.

We will never know.. because we are all slaves to this "silent glances"

Child Abuse

One of the most frightening phenomenon
in our society. No… the Most…
Here I’m talking about all kinds of abuse; physical, psychological and sexual

They don’t only destroy the childhood for millions of children all over the world they destroy their total life. Yes some, if they are lucky, can get some psychological help through therapy. But even for those the wound will never totally heal. They have to live and try to deal with it throughout their entire life, with different results.



This really is a topic in which the debate may never halt.

How can the abuse of children occur?
What mechanisms lie behind?
How can we prevent this just continues to grow in scale?

That’s the first part of the discussion.



The second is to leave room and space for the victims. Those who live with their unhealed wounds. They must be seen and heard in the end. They should be able to share their experiences as part of processing their traumas. Nobody should have to carry this grief and pain alone.

Here if anywhere we must be there for each other

Self-confidence contra Self-esteem

.

Should really need no words. The picture speaks for itself.

But many are we who have our self-confidence through what we have achieved. We have worked ourselves into a good confidence.
It is all well and good. But what we should have had with us in the baggage from our childhood; a good self-esteem, is not always there.
A strong self-confidence combined with a low self-esteem is a rather unfortunate combination.

If we see our life as an account with deposits and withdrawals. So we can see that for many there is very little on account of self-esteem. I it is simply the minus.
This applies to those who invest all of the other account which is called; self-confidence They are performing to the death to try to compensate this imbalance.
At the minimum setback, unemployment, divorce, criticism, what ever. Everything collapse.
I myself is nothing worth, my whole life is defined on the basis of my performance
If they aren’t good enough it’s the end.

All the words and confirmations of how good we are in ourselves is not included. We were never told of an important environment when we were small and the foundation should have been built..
No, perhaps they even made withdrawing on your self-esteem account; ”What will become of you…?” ”You are impossible…!” ”Without education you are no one…etc. etc.

Then there are two ways:
1. I will show them .. You will see…Just wait….
2. Nothing matters…Might as well give up...

Many who perform amazing things in life belong to group 1. They wanted to "prove" their environment (often parents) that they will do.
Many people who by different reasons ”go down” belong to group 2.

They have the same feelings within themselves but have found different ways to deal with them
What they have in common is their great vulnerability because of their very low self-esteem

Many people say that you can continue to make deposits, throughout the whole life, on that self-esteem account ... But I wonder...
For example by making Affirmations, find a new love, find a strong religious belief and so on.
I do not know ....

But I do know that this topic is quite important for understanding how a person acts
and therefore I would like us to keep the conversation alive. I will also come back with follow-up contributions

What account do you for example have set up the most on?

The Twilight Zone. The dusk country where the abused children are left behind to survive

It is the country where the victims of the child abuser are left alone to endure. It is the country that we the adults not yet have recognized still less marked on the map. Many are those who try to function as ”map reader” for both the media as well as the politicians. But they find only to extreme cases, at best. Media eyes are always attached only to sell single copies of the newspaper and achieve a high numbers of viewers and the politicians are obsessed to gain votes Why their accounts get a little distorted and poorly proportioned.

The vast majority of these children who are physically, psychologically or sexually abused remain in their gray area while their trust in adults get more and more hollowed out

Children who have completely lost their adult trust, become dangerous adults, if not before then, on their own, they have put an end to their suffering and thus never reach adulthood. Suicide among young people is frightening usual and the attempts increase

Many of the those who survive childhood, physically, is now our new paedophiles, rapists or new child abuser. Like that the circle is closed.

Then we will judge them mercilessly. This is perhaps their indirect revenge for that we have never found their childhood country, drew up boundaries for their executioners, shed some light on them so that we could see their existence to then be able to confirm them and set them free from their suffering.

With all the traumas that our children have to live with through out the childhood, caused by various abuse, it is not surprising if the locks to their suppress internal can not resist any longer. Now literally causing their dark shadows and demons out and hits blindly all that stands in their way. Now pull society out; media with their cameras and pens and politicians with new investigations.

Now when the catastrophe has already happened. Than the incident blows over and the way to the country where the sun never shines, remains untrod.. and the country remains a white stain on our map, while a black coarse in their protocols.

Let us continue to identify with the whole hand.
It is obviously best done by those who know where thy country is situated and have been its inhabitants. They are some of the best pathfinders Those who belong to the the group, " the survivors" Those who chose the tough way, of processing their traumas in order to regain control over their lives, rather than to live them out with human tragedies as a result result.

It is you who are the strong ones . You the the "Dandelion Children" of society whose yellow color reminds me of the sun,

So please show us the way to the "dusk country". The twilight zone of society

Become our "pathfinders"