The Child Within

Sing for the inner child

Our innermost room

There is a door that rarely opens
It’s too fare away from eyes to see
We have to search for a chance to find it
And we have to enter to be free
GC

Like a bubble of soap

Fragile as a bubble of soap swirls and dances you in the shimmering colors of a rainbow
creating a magical world with your glow.
We believe we can catch a bubble
we believe we can keep it for ever tight but if we try we lose it.
Childhood last just one Swedish summer night
The magic is not there for ever and the dance will end and bubbles all dissolve
But we were there and saw it happy for being once involved /gc


We here so often people say that we have to take care of our inner child.
But who is our inner child?

The Child Within belongs to all of us, But many don’t dare to neither see or feel it.
What should happen it we gave light to that hidden child within.?
No… who wants to know?

Yes we try to sublimate are inner needs by giving and once again giving to others and that helps for the moment, maybe also in the long run. Because giving or doing something for someone else is a way to refill one selves. A meaningful way too. But that doesn’t mean that the child within doesn’t catch up with us some day, sooner or later.

If that child is a neglected one you are responsible for not giving it what your parents weren’t capable to. That child is now in your care, since the day you was called grown up. But none will get older than the child they are caring inside. You can try to save the world , you may even succeed, but that’s no guarantee for that your own inner child is saved.

There exist people, I do know ,which have no neglected child within.
They are given from their abundance That’s good .
But the majority of us don’t belong to that group.
We are giving of our deficit in an unconsciously hope to get something back.
We have to see and admit our inner child because he or she is the one who unconsciously
governs our lives. .

How could anyone ever tell you …. That you was anything but a Miracel

But that happened.

You was not always told what a miracle you were and the neglected child hide itself deep within.. It is that child we have to find...

What went wrong for the children in our Western countries?

When we deprived them of spirituality, authority
respect, moral, limits, parent’s time and so on.
Did they become happier from the new lifestyle which we delivered them?

No... so many young people in the Western countries are using anti depressive medicine and the suicides are increasing, to say nothing of alcohol abuse in early teen ages and drug abuse. It’s really too sad.

We are not poor but in the eyes of the children I can see a “poverty “ I didn’t even see in the look of the children in India living in orphanages. Their eyes were full of hope and trust something that has been lost in many eyes of the western children. Still their stomachs are more than filled up and they are surrounded by ”things” whose volume is close to drown them.




But are they happy ?

No ..for very many of them , I don’t think so..

So what went wrong in our modern and wealthy nations?
That is a question for the world to solve.
What price, had the so called devolved countries to pay for the their welfare and who paid it?.
I think it was the Children.




They were deprived of parent’s time, Those who were picked out to see, confirm and love them. But they havn’t ´time enough since they are too busy to fulfil themselves, in a modern western style .

Yes it’s much more to say and there are of course many more explanations of why it went wrong. But it’s all for now.
I now want to listen to you, specially those who are representatives
for the rest of the world. I want so much to hear your opinions and your analyzes.

What did we do wrong?

Children`s Dreams

I have learned from booth C G Jung, Freud and many of their imitators that the dreams of children have no profound meaningful significance. But when I had seen how useful dream work had been for my own well-being, I wanted to examine if I could use my own theories and experiences on the dreams of my children. Dreams which they presented to me almost every morning.

I started to look for literature on the subject. However there was not a single book to be found, not in my own language (Swedish) and neither in any other language, as far as I knew, at this time. But I found many books that indirectly told me it wasn't worth trying. This was already said by the greatest authorities on the subject; Jung and Freud, maybe that's why almost none after them dared to give the children's dreams a serious chance.


That didn’t discourage me, on the contrary. I started to collect their dreams and write them down, also the dreams they had told me before. Then, my husband and I, went ahead to systematically work with their dreams.

                              

I used many of the methods that I had utilized in my dream-work with grown-ups. Then I also had to create some specially designed methods that fitted better to the children's needs. We have been working for over fourteen years, and I'm very astonished.


How could anyone say that children's dreams was nothing but, more or less nonsense, or as Freud said just a question of desires. What I have seen and experienced is that the dreams of children have as much to tell us about their inner well-being as those of grown-ups. I have got so many clues to how I best can help a child to find it’s inner balance.


Dream-work became one of the most efficient therapeutic method, in our work with these profoundly injured and abandoned children. All the experiences I gained and all the discoveries I made I have collected in a book named; Dragons and Demons of the Dream, published 1999 in Sweden. (It’s not yet availed in English) Here in the book everyone can see beautiful examples of what Jung called a "big dream", where there are more Archetypes to find than in many of the grown-up ones.

The Shadows also lie in wait for them everywhere, until we together, in our common dream-work, shed light upon them and integrate them in their consciousness and waking-life. There is one great difference between how you treat a child-dream compared with a dream of an adult.




The psychological interpretations will and must never be presented for the youths. By working with their dream, using all the methods I have presented in my book, the young one will, in an intuitive way, take care of what comes up from the exploration of his dream, without having the interpretation forced on him. He doesn't have to understand his dream with his intellect, since the dream works in it's own way through intuition and the young ones are very close to this state of mind. They get every-thing they need to recover from their "illness" without having had one single symbol explained to them. That’s how it works.

I have seen it and verified it throughout all these years when I have been working with children as well as their dreams. I think that I'm one of the first person to systematically and over many years have followed, studied, interpreted and actively worked with the dreams of children, and also have had the unique opportunity to follow up my work, my theories, and the well-being of my children, since they lived day and night with us.


Dream work is very important for all these children who fight a meaning-less battle with all their inner shadows, which they, if we don’t help them, project on evens, persons and things and than accordingly respond to, often with sad consequences, while we, the grown- ups stand besides and shake our heads. If we took their dreams serious, we could avoid many of the tragedies we witness today.

(From my book Dragons and Demons of the Dream)

The silent glance

The silent glance

Am I good enough? Available in exemplary sense of us all and labelled from the fact that no child can bear to punching out from their parents' patronage and approval.

This often means that children are forced to restrain their natural emotion impulses to be accepted and continue to "check up" throughout his childhood, whether he / she is approved or not.
Nothing is for a child as frightening as the threat of "homelessness" from the loss of a parent's love

”The silent glance” a term coined by James Hollis, Jungian, then continues in school, at work, in the family in society and on the Internet and its various forums

We check constantly whether we will do. A behaviour that persists from childhood and the feeling that was connected with just our parents, are then projecting out on other authorities in our lives

This implies that we are not living fully for fear of offending someone or awake anyone’s s antipathy. As this touches our old childhood fears of loosing our parents' care and protection
Therefore, I believe that so many children and subsequently adults have stifled their personality, emotions, etc. just to be loved

What would happen if all adults released their inhibitions, lived out their feelings and dared to declare all their thoughts and reflections without ”checking up” first whether it was viable or not.

We will never know.. because we are all slaves to this "silent glances"

Child Abuse

One of the most frightening phenomenon
in our society. No… the Most…
Here I’m talking about all kinds of abuse; physical, psychological and sexual

They don’t only destroy the childhood for millions of children all over the world they destroy their total life. Yes some, if they are lucky, can get some psychological help through therapy. But even for those the wound will never totally heal. They have to live and try to deal with it throughout their entire life, with different results.



This really is a topic in which the debate may never halt.

How can the abuse of children occur?
What mechanisms lie behind?
How can we prevent this just continues to grow in scale?

That’s the first part of the discussion.



The second is to leave room and space for the victims. Those who live with their unhealed wounds. They must be seen and heard in the end. They should be able to share their experiences as part of processing their traumas. Nobody should have to carry this grief and pain alone.

Here if anywhere we must be there for each other

Self-confidence contra Self-esteem

.

Should really need no words. The picture speaks for itself.

But many are we who have our self-confidence through what we have achieved. We have worked ourselves into a good confidence.
It is all well and good. But what we should have had with us in the baggage from our childhood; a good self-esteem, is not always there.
A strong self-confidence combined with a low self-esteem is a rather unfortunate combination.

If we see our life as an account with deposits and withdrawals. So we can see that for many there is very little on account of self-esteem. I it is simply the minus.
This applies to those who invest all of the other account which is called; self-confidence They are performing to the death to try to compensate this imbalance.
At the minimum setback, unemployment, divorce, criticism, what ever. Everything collapse.
I myself is nothing worth, my whole life is defined on the basis of my performance
If they aren’t good enough it’s the end.

All the words and confirmations of how good we are in ourselves is not included. We were never told of an important environment when we were small and the foundation should have been built..
No, perhaps they even made withdrawing on your self-esteem account; ”What will become of you…?” ”You are impossible…!” ”Without education you are no one…etc. etc.

Then there are two ways:
1. I will show them .. You will see…Just wait….
2. Nothing matters…Might as well give up...

Many who perform amazing things in life belong to group 1. They wanted to "prove" their environment (often parents) that they will do.
Many people who by different reasons ”go down” belong to group 2.

They have the same feelings within themselves but have found different ways to deal with them
What they have in common is their great vulnerability because of their very low self-esteem

Many people say that you can continue to make deposits, throughout the whole life, on that self-esteem account ... But I wonder...
For example by making Affirmations, find a new love, find a strong religious belief and so on.
I do not know ....

But I do know that this topic is quite important for understanding how a person acts
and therefore I would like us to keep the conversation alive. I will also come back with follow-up contributions

What account do you for example have set up the most on?

The Twilight Zone. The dusk country where the abused children are left behind to survive

It is the country where the victims of the child abuser are left alone to endure. It is the country that we the adults not yet have recognized still less marked on the map. Many are those who try to function as ”map reader” for both the media as well as the politicians. But they find only to extreme cases, at best. Media eyes are always attached only to sell single copies of the newspaper and achieve a high numbers of viewers and the politicians are obsessed to gain votes Why their accounts get a little distorted and poorly proportioned.

The vast majority of these children who are physically, psychologically or sexually abused remain in their gray area while their trust in adults get more and more hollowed out

Children who have completely lost their adult trust, become dangerous adults, if not before then, on their own, they have put an end to their suffering and thus never reach adulthood. Suicide among young people is frightening usual and the attempts increase

Many of the those who survive childhood, physically, is now our new paedophiles, rapists or new child abuser. Like that the circle is closed.

Then we will judge them mercilessly. This is perhaps their indirect revenge for that we have never found their childhood country, drew up boundaries for their executioners, shed some light on them so that we could see their existence to then be able to confirm them and set them free from their suffering.

With all the traumas that our children have to live with through out the childhood, caused by various abuse, it is not surprising if the locks to their suppress internal can not resist any longer. Now literally causing their dark shadows and demons out and hits blindly all that stands in their way. Now pull society out; media with their cameras and pens and politicians with new investigations.

Now when the catastrophe has already happened. Than the incident blows over and the way to the country where the sun never shines, remains untrod.. and the country remains a white stain on our map, while a black coarse in their protocols.

Let us continue to identify with the whole hand.
It is obviously best done by those who know where thy country is situated and have been its inhabitants. They are some of the best pathfinders Those who belong to the the group, " the survivors" Those who chose the tough way, of processing their traumas in order to regain control over their lives, rather than to live them out with human tragedies as a result result.

It is you who are the strong ones . You the the "Dandelion Children" of society whose yellow color reminds me of the sun,

So please show us the way to the "dusk country". The twilight zone of society

Become our "pathfinders"