"Small Close Things"

A rose in its fulfilment….

A warm childhood memory…

A living environment for Mother and child…

Stories to live with…

The closeness to nature...

The generations before…

Security ....

Memories… "Small Close Things" The seemingly insignificant in the eyes of the public, but so incredibly important to us It was never the big success, the beautiful words or wordy theories. It was not money, status or glory

No… usually it is just "small close things " in our lives that make the biggest impression in heart and mind ...

What will you remember when you come to the age that makes you look more and more in the rear-view mirror? Or have you the capacity to appreciate these small things without even looking back?

They say that you shall not look backward, not forward either because we are invited to live in the present

.If so how can you ever know what was important. Since it`s only with this comparative perspective to the past that you will become aware of what has actually meant something, and what was only beautiful illusions ...

A wild bird in your hand A mothers beautiful song in the childhood A first word from a beloved baby

A warm hug from a revolutionary teenager A happy sparkle in the eyes of a child A walk with the little grandchild’s hand in yours

A lovely sunset A piece of music that went straight in and stayed for ever.. A capacity of loving and become loved. A safe place within

A dog's tail waving when you get home at night A garden flower that for the first time survived the cold winter A book that gave you the feeling that it was written just for you A beautiful poem

So I could go on with my list for ever. Our lives are so filled up with these ”small close things”

But do we notice them do we pay them enough attention or do we just take them for granted. Or do we have to be with one foot in the grave to realize what was important? Love for example

And love for our children….

I can see in the rear-view mirror, what was important in my life. Was it the carrier, was it money, was it my appearance, was it fame ??? No ..Now I can see that it was the children, my own as well as all the others which I was given to raise. I can see in the rear-view mirror what made me smile.

A happy child who looked upon me with trust created my most happy moments. They were all the source to the most of these “small close things”

As some wise person has said: “After all this climbing and all the efforts we have made to reach the top, we will finally find that we have put the ladder up against the wrong wall ” How true...

"... You shall not hunt so restless around, but learn to love ”small close. things "So ended the song my mother sang for me as a child.. Maybe the best heritage she could have given to me…. A melody, a text, a voice that became a warm childhood memory. One of these ”small close things ” which I always will carry with me to make me remember what life is all about…

Have you looked into your rear-view mirror, have you found the “small close things “ that filled your life with warmth.?

The survivors are our "Dandelion Children"

I have never been especially interested in those who were born with a ”silver spoon in their mouths "as we say in Sweden. Some one else can confirm them. I save my emotions for those who were born without something to” eat”, in the case of emotional nourishment. Those who had to live in the shadow all their lives. With nothing on their feet or in their backpacks but managed to survive after all. . In Sweden we call them ”dandelion child” those who survive against all odds. They are my heroes.
They know all the nuances of black but colours are foreign to them. Since they grew up in a scale between black and grey. But they managed…

How did they do it? I know many ”dandelion children” With the most horrible backgrounds. And I will never stop asking how did they manage to psychological survive.. Yes they have my fully respect and admiration and they have much to share with the world if we are ready to listen… They are those who can learn us to appreciate the light after having lived for so long in the darkness.

They should be our teachers instead of all ”silver spoons” ”besser wissers” But do we listen to them in the "margin" or do we blindly trust titles and exclusive educations even if they have no experiences at all in the topic where they acquired their postgraduate training. Words and education is wonderful but experiences will always be one step ahead. Without these so much become just empty words…. This my text is an praise to all the ”dandelion children” all over the world . We owe you all our respect… And I think you are those who can change the world since you have the needed perspective ….

Maskrosbarn

De blåste hårda vindar den dag som du blev till
ogräs blev du kallad kalla vad man vill
Den kraft som du besitter den knäcker hård betong
den avundas av plantan på var köksbalkong

Den kluvenhetsom skapats av mask och rosor född
är signum för din styrka välväxt inte gödd.
Hur marken än är danad du växer lika väl
och i den gula blomman finns en kraftfull själ

One a again a ridiculous attempt to try to translate a poem *smile* a real "mission impossible" but i do it anyway ;) So here:

Dandelion Child

Hard the wind was blowing the day you came to life
weeds were you referred to name it what you like
The force that you possess destroy the hard concrete
envy of each seedling On the kitchen balcony

The mixed feelings created from worms and roses born
is the signature for strength shapely not fattened up but worn.
However the ground is shaped you grow with dignity
as well and in the yellow flower a powerful soul is veiled
GC

The "Barefoot Children"

As a child they raise the compassion, as young people fear and horror as adults they populate our prisons, mental hospitals, treatment and ultimately of our cemeteries.
The young people who are totally emotionally cold sticking down a friend, or throw an unconscious contemporary in the water to drown. has also been a child. So also those who are escaping life by using drugs or other abuse or those who steal and rob both themselves and us.

I know these children, they have lived under my roof and of my care and nutrition.
Many have survived and are today our strong ; “ Dandelion Children”
But many are living with a neglected child with. A child who need to be healed…

I WISH...

I could carry you



All genuine empathy begins with understanding. And the easiest way out is compassion, which is usually perceived as derogatory and reducing. What we do all need to grow is respect for our person, requirement that makes us worthy, love to develop empathy and caring people that confirm us. My thoughts are not only for those who have been abused and as a consequence abuse their own lives in different ways, but also for us the adults who carry an abandoned child within. The pain of life is our heritage and its rise is often to search just in childhood. This basic grief unites us all and gives me hope that many of us can recognize ourselves in what I’m writing about..

I tried to translate this little poem of our famous poet Nils Ferlin but it really does not give justice to his lovely and easy words. It’s lovely just because of its simplicity in which there are so much to find.

I share it anyway.
Also for you to know from where I got the expression when I’m talking about ”Barefoot Children”

Barefoot Children

You lost your words and your piece of paper,
you barefoot children in life.
So you sit back on the dealer's stairs
crying in total despair

What was that word - was it long or short,
was it well or badly written?
Think hard now - before we drive you away,
you barefoot children in life. (Nils Ferlin from ” Barfotabarn”-33)

Our Birthright

Born out of love born to joy
not a human right for that girl and boy
who was just the fruit of a drunkenness
or someone temporary depressed.

The dark shadows of the psyche
became the father not seen not liked
mother's joy was in the glass
your cradle she did not even pass

Still waiting always waiting
everything had to come first
everything was more important than the call
from a child crying in its thirst.

Every time the little grumbled
wounds was bleeding from the adult’s soul
wait.. wait mom will join you
first a drink to fill the hole

The mother looks in her despair
after cuddle blanket .I laid it where?
find so finally the chest in a bottle
drunk wildly till she saw the bottom

Flood was the cry and sent to sleep the pain
so also the mother whose child´s tears was in vain
With the dreams she forgot it all
While the child was still awake, wet and cold

GC

Many adults also need to be lulled to sleep...

For not creating misunderstandings, I want to add;

Yeah, I understand that many of you are thinking primarily of the children who actually go without shoes and with empty stomach and eyes. The children who suffer from hunger and war. I am glad that there are many who work for these groups of children. They are those who primarily need assistance. And the fact that we still 2011 in a world which is rich have children starving and being killed in war is a shame for human kind. It’s unacceptable…

But you can not share the experience you do not have , therefore, I write about the children who have the stomach full, but whose souls are empty. Those who are taking their lives in early teenage, or scream for help by trying. The children who cut themselves or otherwise seek to divert the mental evil. The young people who have to go early on antidepressant medicine to cope getting through the day. Just to mention a few examples. I do not compare pain. I just know that when your stomach is full you easier feel the soul pain. And how to satisfy that kind of hunger?

IT ALL STARTS WITH THE CHILDREN

If we neglect them we have to look for our own inner child as grown up, A much harder task.
We talk about changing the world, about peace, about whipping out the evil and eradicate violence. But to achieve that, the inner child have to be seen,confirmed and loved.
If not. That child, will grow up, and together with other neglected children form injustice system of the society, for generations to come. The outcome of the suffering from within.

We have to confirm our children, not only what we can see but also below the surface We have to find their inner pictures to be able to heal what’s broken.
In order to create a more hopeful society and in its prolongation a better world.

The society can never feel better than its children.

Sing a Song for "The Child Within"

Around you or Within

Sing for the inner child




There is a door that rarely opens
It’s too fare away from eyes to see
We have to search for a chance to find it
And we have to enter to be free
GC

Like a bubble of soap

Fragile as a bubble of soap swirls and dances you
in the shimmering colors of a rainbow
creating a magical world with your glow.
We believe we can catch a bubble we believe we can keep it for ever tight
but if we try we lose it. Childhood last just one Swedish summer night
The magic is not there for ever and the dance will end and bubbles all dissolve
But we were there and saw it happy for being once involved
GC





We here so often people say that we have to take care of our inner child.

But who is our inner child?



The Child Within belongs to all of us, But many don’t dare to neither see or feel it. What should happen it we gave light to that hidden child within.? No… who wants to know?

Yes we try to sublimate are inner needs by giving and once again giving to others and that helps for the moment, maybe also in the long run. Because giving or doing something for someone else is a way to refill one selves. A meaningful way too. But that doesn’t mean that the child within doesn’t catch up with us some day, sooner or later.

If that child is a neglected one you are responsible for not giving it what your parents weren’t capable to.
That child is now in your care, since the day you was called grown up. But none will get older than the child they are caring inside.
You can try to save the world , you may even succeed, but that’s no guarantee for that your own inner child is saved.

There exist people, I do know ,which have no neglected child within. They are given from their abundance That’s good . But the majority of us don’t belong to that group. We are giving of our deficit in an unconsciously hope to get something back.

Everthing possible



We have to see and admit our inner child because he or she is the one who unconsciously governs our lives.

How could anyone ever tell you ….



You was not always told what a miracle you were More then so you were neglected, beaten or abused. You became our “ BAREFOOT CHILDREN”

The Healing Force of the Saga

The healing force of the Saga In generations the Folk tales or Sagas have had an immense importance, for the development of children. Bruno Bettelheim, the Austrian-American child psychologist, has written a wonderful book, "Sagan’s enchanted world," where he in a great way describes the children's need for stories. He is however careful to point out that they do not apply to stories in general, but only to the old folk tales, that have been told over and over again through the years, modified and adjusted to eventually become recorded.

The old folk tales have according to Bettelheim ability;
1. To capture children's attention
 2. Excite their imagination
3. Enrich their emotional life
4. Sort out their internal chaos
5. Respond to their fears and expectations
6. Giving full recognition to their difficulties, while giving a hint as to the solutions to the problems they are grappling with.

He believes that the newer stories for children do not have this ability, because they are too indifferent. Here the "evil" is reduced to a minimum because the children authors today seem to believe, that the child is harmed by this kind of atrocities that are represented in the old folk tales. It has shown itself that it is precisely because of the atrocities that the old stories have such a healing effect. By the clear division between good and evil it facilitate for the child to identify with the "good" and thus reject the "bad". At the same time as the "evil" is a key hook on which the child can attach its projections.

Children often have a feeling that they are "evil", which they obviously do not want to recognize and therefore repress. The "evil" becomes Shadows in their subconscious, which they are projected onto people, things and events around the child. This is often unfortunate and has impact on the child itself. Nevertheless, it is inevitable, because The younger a child is the harder it has to host a dualistic world. It can for example still not live with the fact that Mom can be both the "good fairy" and the "bad witch". It is only later in childhood as the child can begin to take in a bit of the fact that everything has two sides, a light and a dark.

It is here the cruel witch of the Saga is so useful to the minor child. Now it has an actual figure to lay out its hatred on. She is OK to condemn, and this reduces the guilt the child otherwise would have felt, every time the shade from the unconscious, showed its ugly snout. To say nothing of the fear it creates, in which small children are forced to imagine witches in the absence of more concrete and "live" ones. Which atrocities, the evil witch or anyone else in the Saga does, they are not worse than the omnipotent and frightening fantasies which the children permanently living with in their interior.

The difference is that in the Saga and in the Dream, children may "remove" the frightening fantasy, shape it and create distance. Now the child can calmly look at its "horror-filled reality", by its knowledge that it is only a dream or a story. This is liberating for the child and reduces its internal fear and anxiety, which he/she otherwise is threatened to be overran by. The child's requirement that the story should be read again and again, allows for an intuitive processing, where the child come to terms with what it needs just then, of emotional nourishment. When the child no longer wants to hear the same story, it is a sign that they have squeezed all nutritive juices which existed in just that Saga. Now it’s time for other stories to better respond to the problems the child in the next phase of development are forced to contend with.

To be continued…. (From my book "Dragons and Demons of the Dream") Part 2

As the child's mental maturity, and with the help of dreams and fairy tales, then the child will be able to take back one projection, after the second and incorporate it in its burgeoning personality. This means that the child can accept and understand that mom can be angry sometimes, but that she may not "eat" you up, and she is still your beloved mam and that in the same person This tucked away stock in the unconscious, cannot the child with help only of the reason understand and assimilate. By contrast, as explained above stories and also the dreams can help the child to come into contact with the unconscious processes, by the deputy saga- and dream figures and their actions

The sagas addresses universal human problems, particularly those that children can identify with, and the stories speak to the child's burgeoning ”I Feeling” encouraging its development, while also easing pressure from the unconscious. The dream and the saga give the child the opportunity to unleash their imagination, create dreams, and projecting their ”part personalities” on the different elements of the saga and dream, related to the unconscious Complex. Bettelheim talking about unconscious impulses.

Whole Bettelheim book about folk tales is analyzed from a Freudian perspective, the terminology differs some from that I using in my book. With a little good will, however, many phenomena and terms are , possible to translate into Jungian psychology. Jung spoke for example not about unconscious impulses but unaware complex. The complex is the ”part personalities” that we displayed to the subconscious and life haunt to get up and be made visible. Jung similar complexes with a network of ”loaded ” images, surrounded by emotions.

To return to the stories and to stick with Jung's terminology, it is therefore our complex the folk tales raise. They are also those who indirectly via the character of the Saga may be a symbolic presentation. These deep inner complex is often overlooked in modern children's literature and Bettelheim believes that the child in this way are left in the lurch. The child's sense of loneliness and alienation, creating an anxiety that they can not dress in words. The old folk tale does the children's difficulties and anxiety of life seriously. It addresses directly; need for love, fear of humiliation, love of life and fear of death. Sagan is also the child's need for heroes, they can identify. Today, this is more necessary than before because there are a plenty of bad TV series and heroes children otherwise are forced to absorb, in the absence of other, more constructive.

Besides there is the psychological value, The saga is also a heritage that is worth passing on. For the children themselves, it is understood the entertainment aspects of the saga that attracts the most.

Yes who do not remember the fairy tales books from our childhood.. Every Saga had its character which has followed us through life... Why did they have such a great impact on us? Yes because they touched something essential