Children's Grief

Children's Grief
How do we meet children's grief? Thought to leave this page a bit open for you to fill in and share your experiences of children in grief. There is not just one way, since grief have many faces and every child is unique.

I know many have read this which is posted in an other discussion. But since I find it such a brilliant example of how a 11-years old boy may handle his grief, I just have to share it here too

This song was played on the funeral and became afterwards ”our song”

" To take a break in the mourning..."

He was eleven years old. He lived with us for some time. One day his grandmother called me and said that his mother 29 years old suddenly had died. Suites from a drug abuse.

How do you tell such a thing to a child?

I don’t know exactly how.. but I did. We talked and cried together. A little while later I found him in front of the television playing some TV-game . He looked at me as if he could see my thoughts and sad in a calm a steady voice, still with tears in his eyes;

”You have to take a break in the mourning”

I will never forget these, his intelligent words, so wise for a child. Or on the contrary just a child can be so wise. This deep insight has helped me through many crises one of them when he himself, ten years later, became beaten to death on a street in another town.

He taught me in advance how you have to tackle grief to cope proceed. These words will live with me forever and I will always be grateful to him who taught me them. I hold his hand on the mothers funeral and on his own he hold mine…

With this story I give the floor to you ...

Grief is not a disease

Just a feeling among other feelings even though it`s a bit harder to live out...

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter´s oven? And the not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy." So said Khalil Gibran and so do I

It’s from the sorrow the joy emerge so do not deny it… It’s the sorrow that learn you how to ”navigate” at see, so do not throw that map away.. The sea is the best metaphor for life and the unconscious and the sea is the place for all our life sailing. So it’s best for all of us if we learn how to sail. The sorrow is the stormy water we need to manage to be able to reach ”land”

Sometimes our lives hang on a slack rope over the dark water. But we must stick rigidly fixed to the rope. Even if the sorrow have a stranglehold on us. What or whom are this rope…? Talking is ”what” ”whom” is a true friend that can listen. That is all they need… Can it be so hard to lend them this rope?

Grief is not a disease. It is a natural part of life and it is not contagious

Even rivers can cry .

The sorrow can make us temporary paralyzed like a statue. But if we let it come out we will be alive again. But it we forces ourselves to smile when we feel like this we will become statues and with a heart of stone…

In Mythology we have this guy who flew to close to the sun and see what happened His wings were scorched. We have so much to learn from our old myths. The grief has a great space in both Saga, Dream and Myth. Why so? Yes because they all reflect life and they are watching with eyes many hounded years old , So of course they can see things that we can not…We just have to trust them

For whom have I started this group, didn’t I have enough many already? ;) This group is for those whose smile got stuck and grief frozen into ice And where the joy like anger is a disguised grief which has stolen their personality and individuality, and make them to statues without their knowledge

But it’s also for all those who have realized what the sorrow have taken and given them and dare to talk about it. Those who know that sorrow is as natural as joy and a prerequisite for the true happiness. Those who want to show us their map which helped them to navigate on the stormy see. Those who with their experiences can make a different and change the world…

Since they have learned that joy and sorrow walk hand in hand and that one can not live without the other, since they derive their nourishment from each other. Let us learn from those who know…let us stand up for the sorrow, which will create so much more space for love, happiness and joy *smile* Grief is or was never ”a stain in the protocol” 091202 I can see in your eyes...... The grief you have hidden and that shameful peaking forward. Bending down trying to cover itself behind the lashes like a mercy child in the cold. I see the pain that shoots lightning straight through the yellow blob and give the eye cavity cramp . I see the joy that ecstatic dancing around on the rainbow film making pupil Art. I see the sadness the heavy, not definable like dark clouds staining the white eye gray I see the raindrops trembling in the eye corners about to fall. I see YOU

The grief will always catch up to you...

Once upon a time…there was an old woman Who had lived throughout her long life with the same man. So died the man. The old woman "took it so well" to the surprise of the surroundings. She hardly showed any grief at all. One or two years later her cat died and the old women collapsed

This is a true story. What can we learn from it? Yeah we all carry different not finished sorrows and losses. The sadness that had not come out will always find an alibi to squeeze up and then also strengthened in a way which can break down anyone.. So it is important to grieve. There is no shortcuts. We must not encourage those who desperate are seeking to work against their grief. For sooner or later like ” a letter in the post" The grief are breaking out and perhaps, for one in others' eyes, minimal loss and then there is not always an supported environment there to help you., since they do not understand ….. So helping people to mourn is sometimes the best help we can give...if we do not want to become totally helpless before a subsequent collapse of which we understand nothing.

We cannot always shine

Are these ”happy” assemblies, which many networks represent a risk for exclusion?

Yes… I think so. What happens, for example when a sadly past catch up with you or you suffer serious illness or grief?
Are you staying here than? To say what? I see no forum for them since the theory doesn’t exist. The theory of people in pain.
No since the theory is that we are all chosen our own happiness and by thinking in the right way, whatever happens we will stay happy and feeling blessed. But already on my short time on these networks I have met many who belonged to those who wanted to “shine” and did so, and also non egotistically shared their belief with others.

That’s beautiful. But when the “Sorrow” trip a person up, and they cannot shine they stop writing. Many have send me letters so I know that. Now when they are needed us the most they do not stay so we can comfort them. That’s just too sad. I do feel for all these that thought that there only mission in life was to share the light and when they got caught by the shadows they feel ashamed instead of asking for our help. We do not even notice they are gone. New ”believers” will come and replace them.

This is the weakest link in the "shine and light" theory or shall I say religion. There is no place for sadness and sorrow. So that means when your light is gone you have to go too. Make me cry but also frustrated. As long as their spiritual battery keeps them shining they will be here but when it is spent they have to face their own darkness without a ray of light from us, the others.

Many people ought to use their own light to lighten up there own dark shadows instead of getting burned out by giving away ”borrowed ” rays of light. That doesn´t benefit the peace in the world.

No... we must accept that there are dark periods in our lives and we must create space for these feelings ,so we who still has some energy in our batteries can shine for them who need it the most.
These Networks are not a church where we have to say ”Amen”. These fantastic opportunities to come together so many people must allow us to have different opinions and place for everyone. To learn understanding and broaden our horizons That will make us grow.

It must be ”high ceilings” in any ”faith” who want to survive.

We must search to enclose all not exclude. By making people understand that it is OK, as in this case, to stay in a shiny and brightening ”world” even if your own personal life is a hell.

We do understand. Or don’t we?

I have made this group for all of us who are working for a good purpose.; The peace
But dare to admit that life can be a terrible mess where we need the light of others because our own batteries are exhausted. and that is OK. We do not have to leave this "world" we just need ears to listen and eyes that can see.
After all we are just human *smile*

So welcome to the imperfect group that I am proud to belong to *smile*
--------------

This was written more then a year ago, but since the world hasn´t changed the words will still be of vital importance. But maybe not on my network where we have so many other forum to talk.

Anyhow I save it here as a memeory of ipeace *smile*

Hard to break through a shining defence…

Hard to break through a shining defence…

"The Joy is pleasant to share, but if we cannot share our Sorrow we can "die" in one way or another , depending on how much it hurts. So what is more important…?

We just have to look at the suicide statistic. We can drug ourselves to death, or get a long-term depression which is very much to compare with the death... To just mention some destructive options for all those who have not a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold, when life trip them....

My God...I never imagined that something so obvious should be so hard to reach out with. Sometimes I think its no use...This brilliant world i Peace is not real for me... So many here seem to live in another world, a beautiful Saga or something. so far away from the reality that has surrounded me all my life as a social worker but also as an ordinary citizen where I just have to look around or open a news paper to see was real life is all about." (My comment in another discussion)

God forgive me :) but hysterical shining is for me a kind of proof that it is a defence we are up to. That’s why the acceptance for the Sorrow as a part of life just cannot be given its rightful space.

Because if we do, our own Sorrow will catch up with us...What will happen then . We have given away all our tools to deal with it... So of course we are frightened and that leads us to reinforce the light batteries, so that nobody will notice our shadow. But we all throw shadows even those who are dazzled by its own light. Theirs are under laws of nature the darkest . I have seen so many examples of that both here and in real life.

But why do I bother? Yes I have started to analyze that question myself *smile * Why cannot I be satisfied with laughing in “ Just for fun” or other amusing groups? Why cannot I just collect pictures of smiling angels or fairy tales, copy them and add them everywhere and tell myself that I work for peace? Why can not I just buy this shining philosophy share it with others and get to feel important and involved? Why can not I let myself be pleasantly seduced?. How much simpler life would be then. To be in Love with a Picture of life, a Dream, a Hope and caressed by the light and the hand of God..All with my eyes peacefully closed...

The light is needed where the darkness is as most dense

The more shining and brilliant the outside is the darker are the “shadows” inside. Yes I really do agree with C G. Jung in that statement.
Why do we have to shine so extremely and for whom? When often our inside is like a black hole in the sky where no lights can enter and from which it’s impossible to transmit light.
That’s OK. That’s a human sign. We are worth loving anyway or just because….

We are not perfect and our inward is often filled with sorrow which is a characteristic
for being just a human being. To top it all
we are expected to ”shine” From where will the grief and pain take their light ?

No I think we first shall start to help each other to get rid of the ”darkness.” We must have plenty of forum all over the world where we can talk about our shortcomings, traumas and grief. It would prevent many suicides and help in the healing process, reduce the prescription of anti depressive medicine, decrease the violence and all kinds of abuse, and in the long run create problems for the nations to find willing soldiers for their bloody wars.

If we do start to cut down the ”darkness” and people really feel better and regain their balance and harmony they have so much more to give to the world, in the battle for peace and in the struggle for a better life for people in general and children in particular

Today we don’t give enough space to those who struggle to survive . Where can they go?
Are there any links to sites that can help them?
A network for ”dark shadows” for example should have an enormous percent of the world population if there was one. *smile*

Most of us are struggling with our lives and our loved ones without anyone to talk to.. Here, we could make a difference if we focus more on the dark inside than the cheerful external

I do not understand and I will never…

I pray for those who need " the light"; Let us open our door for those who need it most.
For myself I’m pleased if the stars light up my way, meanwhile I’m dealing with the dark sides of life. I should never forgive myself if I didn’t dare to recognize, try to analyze and hopefully do something for those on which the sun rarely shines

I want to conclude with an example.

Recently a blog post of mine was deleted from a female Network with the explanation that it was to SAD. It was a video talking about child abuse to death. Of course that’s a subject that doesn’t exactly make us happy. But it’s the reality, the problem exist even if we try to deny it and make like the ostrich and hide our heads in the sand.

Violence DO exist so also war and other cruelty. Our duty as human beings and humanists are to recognize the problems we are facing, to analyze them with and intention to try to understand so that we can do everything in our power to minimize the damage

At least we have to give it a try. Closing the eyes for the problems is not acceptable
We must shed our light on the dark sides of the life too…where it is most needed

,

To feel bad sometimes is perhaps a healthy sign...

We are so afraid of mentally feelings of sickness So we are ready for almost anything just to get "it" to disappear. Alcohol, drugs, extreme sex , happenings and sport exercises,etc Since sad feelings scares us...to death, and many therefore choose , ironically, an anesthetic called addiction, which can lead to death

Many times it may be useful with small "down periods" as a healthy reaction to a sick society, distorted environment at large. or a sorrow based on a loos our general melancholic feelings This daring to remain in the gray area as temporary depression and anxiety create can provide much of a future internal development.

To dare to approach the painful and remain in it long enough to come up with reasons for why we are feeling the way we do…and have time to find constructive ways out. It could be the beginning of a true "cure".

To always say you are feeling good, laugh and slip around on the surface in an ecstatic often artificial joy dizzy. It's probably pretty sick and using addiction to repress unwanted feeling is very destructive So damn funny it is not for anybody. But some are fighting bravely to keep the nausea down and play better theatre.

When the "bad" catch up with them, as it often does, sooner or later, so are their forecasts for the recovery considerably worse. So a bit of temporary sadness and grief will not kill anybody. I am however confident that more people have "laughed" themselves to death. Then "cried" themselves to the grave

That if we do not ask ourselves in time; What`s the matter and take necessary action

"The Show Must Go On" attitude ,has caused many to perish

God doesn´t play dice or the ultimate equation

"God does not play dice". Einstein's world was predictable. He helped to establish the quantum physics, which he then almost half his life sought to rebut. He sought a ”theory of everything”, but he did not find it. He was convinced that God had a plan, a predictable one. In quantum physics level nothing can not be predicted, and nothing can be objectively considered, since the viewer affects the course of events

I would have liked that Einstein had found this theory and by a simple and beautiful equation could have shown the world how things are linked in a predictable meaningfulness.

We all want to solve our life equations. We want to understand the context and find a meaning.
But what if it does not exist. Perhaps not even you if no one would see you, and how you then become viewed affects what and who you became.

Since Einstein was wrong here in his denial of the quantum physics does that mean that God are playing dice after all, and if so which consequences will that have for our lives and the universe…?

Could there be a common thread in the unpredictable and seemingly random? But that only God can see it because he has created the life equation, a formula we will never have access to, not even Einstein got it.

God may not have wanted us to get this code, but be satisfied with the search .. Creating "a theory of everything" might be to become God ... therefore could not even the genius Einstein give us that.

Similar to the search for the Holy Grail or the Philosopher's Stone, many have tried over the centuries but has not yet found it and will never do
Partial responses, have many scientists come up with, but the ultimate equation has yet no man ever seen …

We so desperately want it to exist, because we probably all want, like Einstein, to avoid believing that God played dice with our lives.

We do not want to have the chance as our mother and unpredictability as our father.
We want to be intended and have been part of a greater and meaningful perspective, yes, like a divine ...* smile *

Have our prayers wrong focus?

Have our prayers wrong focus? Since we never get heard…

(A discussion from an earlier group: War and Violence in the name of God)

All who believe in God, believe in a good one. Yet many believers invoke his God in his desire for retribution and revenge
There is only One God and he is for everyone.
Would he take an "active" part of war and violence, it would hardly be able to speak of a good God. Or?
So let the politicians and others solve the worldly conflicts And lets us pray for:
Wise politicians, a child-friendly society, that hunger and poverty will become history, safe and satisfied people, humility in human relationships and the hope that all people should be seen with love.
Then there will be no fertile ground for war and violence, and the word peace would not even exist.
Since that’s impossible without it’s opposite
Seeking to appeal to the good God to take a position in a conflict is to make him active. Some kind of "star wars" but instead with our imagined different Gods in leading roles
But praying for favourable conditions leading to a violent free community or a world of peace is something else .

Maybe our prayers have had a somewhat confused direction that’s why they haven’t been heard, despite they have been told for thousands of years. There are still no ”peace in sight” in our world and crimes and violence just increases.

So I think what we need is to analyze from where do the ”blood thirst” come and once we know that we can pray for help to remove all the obstacles in the human path which caused it.
We can also pray to the good conditions to be fulfilled.

Last but not least, a prayer about asking God to give us intellect to understand that he is one and the same in all religions and therefore should unite us instead of, as now and as it has been for ages, divide us.

The Children of Abraham

Thoughts and reflections concerning War /Violence and Religion

(This discussion belongs to a group named; "War and Violence in the name of God" But since I have not this group here I add these reflections in this forum)

The Children of Abraham

At least all we, who belong to one of those three monotheistic religions.
We have the same ancestor: Abraham.
Means that we are all brothers and sisters.
How comes that throughout history these family members has fought the most? Not talking about these who have the same ancestor, the same God and the same prophet and still choose to kill each other?
Is there any hope for the world when not even the “same family” can stick together?


MOSES another FATHER for so many people

“Living at the edge of Chaos“.

Heard that expression today of Paul Davis. Liked the expression and I like him. I have read most of his books. A physician who can talk so ordinary people do understand, that’s great.

He also talk about a “guiding hand.” What does he mean with that ? Yes that he don’t exclude a God even if he as a physicist and does not claim to be a believer.

But in his books, he always speaks of an extreme point, where all logical explanations and physiological laws end. Is that where we will find a God? He never says that but anyone can read between the lines *smile*

The development of the universe has always existed at the end of chaos. But in some way it has always took a somewhat meaningful way. It’s in this context he talked about ”a guiding hand”

We do not need pictures to talk about a topic which can not be either imagined, drawn or still less photographed.

So this will be the place to ask ourselves ;

who is this ” guiding hand” and where is he to be find, and when did he turn up in the history of our universe?

Can Angels exist without a God?

Many talk in Sweden and many other secularised countries so full of contempt for a God. He is irrational and thus impossible to believe in . His existence can not be logically proved why he is dismissed. While the Angels appear to have almost all taken up as a completely natural part of both life and death.

How comes? Isn’t there an obvious connection here? Don’t the angels belong to just a deity? It has often been spoken in the Bible about God and his angels. Today, we have rationalized away "him" but retained the Angels as the most natural thing in the world. Not only that we kept them we have built out the entire concept so that it begins to look like a faith. A ”Angel faith”.

”I do not believe in God but I believe in angels”. Seems to be a pretty common perception. But how does this agree?

Can Angels exist without a God? I just wonder * L


Which is the role of God in the creation process?

What started it all?

Here are all opinions strongly divided. Was it a God who created the universe, or he contented himself with creating and populate the earth?.
What is "his" role if we agree with the more or less accepted Big Bang theory?
Was "He" the source of the singularity that may have been the origin of everything.
Or was "He" entered the picture later?

Do not know if it makes sense to speculate on these issues that nobody has an answer to. But just because... I never cease to think about how everything started.
When it eventually became the planet Earth how did life arose?
The questions will never end and all the answers are so poor. But still ... we can speculate and reflect on these major issues. `
What is your theories about all this?
If you have a strong believe it may be easier you are looking in the bible or other holy texts. But i haven’t find it there...Have I missed something? I have listened to and read the new physicians they have much to say but not about how it all started. There all the answers end. But even the scientists leave a little hint about a possible God, How else to explain the very beginning?
We will never know?
But you who have a theory please share it with us!


If I could touch the sky...

If I could touch the sky

If I could touch the sky
and feel the smell of heaven
If I could see the angels
like bird wings twisted around my soul
If I could hear a hallelujah
when opening the door
If I could stand there on the threshold
Looking trustfully inside
If I could see the rays of light
Creating form creating life


Would I believe then? *smile*
No since that is not belief but science

On reconnaissance for a God

I wrote this manuscript some years ago. I have not tried to publish it. I wrote it mostly to try to sought out my own feelings and thoughts in this topic. Yes as the title says I was on a reconnaissance for God and have been so for my whole life. This “journey account” I now decided to share with you and have therefore tried to translate the first chapter.

On these Networks I see the name of God everywhere even in the most tiny little comment. So you must know him better than I. that’s why you can become the best travelling companions Who are Your God?
And how did you find Your Answers?
Is there more people like me who have had a hard time with searching for answers while struggling with doubt.?
Is God, in your mind a prerequisite for Peace?

So this is the first chapter in my personal and spiritually journey
Please join me and assist me by telling me your thoughts On Look-out for a God


Introductory
Part 1

He sat in the Sunday school and ”incubated” each week. He was different in character each time, depending on who invoked him . An old and dehydrated Sunday school teachers, full of hatred and bitterness made him look cruel and judgmental. Another uncle who were more satisfied with life, made him a nice and sweet guy. This recent revelation I thought better of.

But who was He? HE … who should come to occupy my thoughts throughout a lifetime and humanity during the millennia. Was he even a man? I only knew as a child that he was called God and that his personal pronouns was ”he” . Sometimes good sometimes convicting. Sometimes wine sometimes water.
The Sunday School God went hand in hand with the God of primary school. We were singing to his glory every day . I tried to invoke him in my childhood. It happened with the help of prayers on the occasions when my mother fell ill in bleeding ulcer. At each time the bleeding were coming back her life was hanging on a more and more fragile thread. My sister and I crawled up, out of fear, behind one of our two armchairs and cried in despair: "God help our mom to survive and get well"! God hear prayer we had learned, and he heard. Mom recovered each time. Was it God or the medicine that helped her? For a Sunday school children, it was easy to believe that it was God. The good God. He who helps the good and conscientious Mom met all of God's requirements. She was for me one of his angels.
I do not know if I thanked him afterwards. Life insisted on attention and demanded to be lived. Far up in school my protestant God and his rules and standards, as they announced in each morning assembly in church, followed me But the reality crept quickly closer now through radio and newspapers, and bared a bloody society in which God was conspicuous by his absence I heard and read about war and violence and children who died of starvation.
Where was He now, the Sunday school almighty God? Why intervened he not? Children surely had no sin to make payments for. In that case it must be the one of God himself stipulated succession sin. Is that why he could let them suffer and starve? If he were so omnipotent, as many authorities tried to get me to think, why did he make people suffer? Yes why had he even created the evil?

My childhood faith started in the early teenage to seriously whittle away at the edge. I asked myself often; Does he exist at all? For in that case, I was convinced he was hardly to be good.
This paradox has not only occupied my thoughts but also many great thinkers, theologians and mystics through the ages. I have in my entire adult life been seeking for a response. I thought it was available in the outside world. There however I did not find it.

But what I got hold of was meaningful questions, assumptions and hypotheses in particular from the east country's philosophy, the new physics, with Jung and his interpreter, the old mystics and thinkers, among the earliest Christians, in Judaism cabbala and also in the Koran. They gave me no answer, but helped me to formulate questions and each direction of faith adds a piece to the other. With the continuous instruction to search in my own internal after my God.
Here, I also had the support of Jesus as in the third Word in the Thomas Gospel says; "... If those who are leading you are saying ;" See the kingdom is in heaven ", which is the sky where the birds were before you. If they say to you:" It is in the sea ", which is where the fish were before you. No. , the kingdom is in your internal and around you. When you come to know yourselves, you shall be known and you will understand that you are the living Father's children. But if you do not know yourselves, you are living in poverty and it is you who are that poverty. "

Why didn`t the New Testament got enriched with this Gospel of Thomas? Why is man so long denied these words of God? The search, is my spiritual journey, this book can be seen as a travel book. I will not be able to provide the answer, I can only help with my questions, which for me have been important building blocks in both my theories and in my speculation. The questions and assumptions have formed the foundation for this speculative journey and are also the basis for this book.

Faith is not knowing, its opposite is science It is in the force field between these poles that I will be travelling. I know as little as you where my journey will take me. I do not know if the final target is equal to the conclusions. Perhaps the search is just a paradox like life itself. Maybe the answer to my question create a new one. And once again it isn’t the goal which is the most important but the way there. One thing I know already that the closer I get myself the more I will know about God and his nature.

To be continued if there are some interest… ---------

On reconnaissance for a God Part 2

In the Beginning

God created , according to the Bible, heaven and earth. Then he had to produce people, so that there should be someone who could worship and believe in him and his creation. One way to confirm itself would be a bit presumptuous to say. One could go even one step further and say that we were to meet God's needs.

The opposite is to see that we the humans needed a God, and therefore created him for our own satisfaction. God would then be a projection of human wishes and needs and thus also a product of our imagination.

With the birth of humans was also the belief in Gods born. Yes, I even believe that spiritual faith preceding man.
This, with a God belief was essential to our first people so they could find a meaning in life and sufferings. We all know that when it is difficult, we try to comfort us that it must be God's will and we can not understand. We will not become wiser of this claim, but it leads us to accept something that is bigger than us and which we can not influence. That what we can not influence, we find easier to accept. Like AA, alcoholics anonymous, who has a prayer that contains the phrase: "God teaches me to accept what I can not change, courage to change what I can, and intellect to understand the difference."

Nobody knows, however, what came first, the chicken or the egg, God or man. Without a God (in a wider sense), it would probably not have been life. Does this mean then, by extension, the existence of God is not dependent on the people? Would thus reject the theory about God as a product of our imagination?

I have of course no answer but can still assume that the confusion may have arisen because that we put in different things in the concept of God. If God is a cosmic force or intelligence, he was of course before all things and events. If God, however, is defined as a personal God which condemns, control, hear our prayers and has a close relationship to each individual, so it requires people to be able to provide this ” power” with the properties that means that he can be defined as just our personal God. Then match the image better that we "created" the God that we needed. A God who was consistent with the different cultures they lived in and responded to the various needs of the people and that at various events in their lives.

I do not think God is a ”he”, but for the sake of simplicity, I will follow our tradition of naming him as something masculine. My question about sex, I will come back to later.

The concept of God housed in the beginning everything. Different God concepts contradicted or excluded each other. This led to the great flexibility we have today among the world's cultures, and without which the concept of God would not have survived and become one of mankind's most important element.

There is no objective God's idea, but it is up to each generation to shape their own God's image. At all times we have witnessed a spiritual dimension which exceeded the human existence. In that way became a transcendent experience, a fact.
All great religions agree that one can not describe this transcendental phenomenon verbal. However, not all consider these experiences as something divine, this applies for example to the Buddhist..

What conclusions we draw as to whether God is real or not, have religions something exciting to tell us about people's aspirations and attitudes through the years.
In recent years, a mythological interpretation more and more started to be felt, which may indicate a desire for more imaginative religious "truths."

However we judge the history of God, "his words" has shaped our cultures.
According to Wilhelm Schmith "Der origin des Gottesidee" The origin of God concept, there was a primitive Monotheism before humans began accessories several Gods.
In prehistoric times this one, the only God, was called, for ”heaven God” because he was associated with just the sky.



Why have humans their Gods? More about that in the next step of this journey…,

What seeds have you sown?

What you sow today ... maybe tomorrow can be harvested


What is the meaning of everything.
This writing here, for example, Does that make any sense, does it leads to something positive, for the world or to others ...
I have given much thought to that question ... and found the answer to be YES .. not directly related to the changes in the world but good for others and each other. These others are also part of the world and no one knows what role they will play.

I have seen people create marvellous meeting and become sincere friends.
I have seen people open up for the first time and starting a process that can be
”lifesaving” I've seen feelings that have created ”ripples in water” effects, I have seen people create and dare to share their creativity. I have seen the security built into shared relationships ..
I have seen .. :)

NO…The answer would be another day when my mood and my focus is different.
When I see the falsity, the exaggerated and the mask parade. I have seen the conflicts between members, the jealousy and the negative competition I have seen members left out in the cold, since they are seeking for recognition but do not find it…
I have seen…:(

Doesn’t matter. Most of the time I see a big YES, and this little word make it meaningful to be here…
Right or wrong, as long as most of the time it feels meaningful I will be here.. If I will change the world? I do not think so.J Can I saw some seeds? I think absolutely..
Will I see them grow. No …I’m to old…but they will grow anyway they do not need spectators

We can not change the world directly, by writing here, but we can sow some seeds together, and who knows one day when we are long ago gone, these seeds will take root, although we are not there to see the budding plants…
But isn’t that enough only to know… I have to think so…

What is your seed and which plants do you wants to see grow when your eyes are long time closed?

To live in the middle of Real Life..:)

Living in the middle of real life.
Means ;
Going to work and return late in the evening, fetch your children at creche,
run home to fix dinner,, preparing the birthday party for tomorrow, phone your old mom who is sick, search for a thermometer one of the kids seem to have fever, have to wash, since the teenager need his new jeans for tomorrow, interrogate homework, talk to one of the kids teacher because of trouble in school.

Have to rest for a while going to faint.
- mammy mammy listen
Have to listen hear nothing, thinking of everything you still haven’t done, my God forgot to buy meatballs, now the neighbourhood store is closed, may be fish fingers from the freezer no… the youngest is allergic to fish, have to think….sausage, it may be sausage.
-You know I do not eat that mom, is my jeans clean soon.?

-Darling I home now, dinner ready?
Migraine attack, no..not now you have to answer your mails and write on the Net, must find the bed that flashes to your eyes ...

Darling!!! Mother!!! Mom!! Phone ring! You do not hear any more you just desperately try to remember…

What they said again on that network?
…meditation, shining, vibration, healing, aroma therapy…

Two painkillers knock you out in the middle of the beautiful list ..
Tomorrow is another day you think just before you are rescued by sleep

The days reality has a way of repeating itself
Still you are the lucky one you have a life…a real such…;)

Just a Reflection...

1. I offer you our Swedish ”vemod”

We Swedes are a ”vemodigt” (sad, melancholic ) people.
”VEMOD” (Sadness) is an expression that is difficult to find in many southern European languages

”Vemodet” is linked to a yearning backward, to what was. It’s not identical with nostalgia Even the word ”längtan” yearning is hard to find in many other languages In French for example When I lived in France for many years ago, I had big problems in expressing my homesickness in an adequate manner in French, since they have no exact word for it.

It is interesting how a language vocabulary, or lack of , say much about the people who use it. Our Swedish ”vemod” melancholy is a quiet affectionate yearning for times that has past, and was filled with lovely experiences and now you realize that they are for ever gone.

How comes that we in Sweden created the word from a kind of needs, while for example, Frenchmen and Englishmen are not known to this need?. The Englishmen are quite satisfied with sad and melancholic and the French with ”triste” and ”melancolique”.

But ”vemod” is so much more There must be a Swedish ”kynne”
Here we go again. ”kynne” didn’t exist either. I give up :) Such a great deal of people’s feelings and state of mind can never be translated, since that phenomena don’t exist in other cultures and then consequently need no word. Only a small reflection ...
There must be thousands of examples where a foreign language its not satisfying to define someone with a different culture and his/hers state of mind.

Please share your language reflection with us or any reflection at all….

2. How does the Truth look like, and who are ”sitting on the answers”...?

Yes, when I was twenty I was fairly certain that I had the answers to most questions. *Smile*

Could almost write a record ;) The conviction was so strong at that time.

First it had to do with children. I knew all about them before I even had any. So they came into my life one by one. I tried in desperation to turn to my own produced record. But the answers that were there were not usable. They were just constructed theories and far from the reality that I lived in.

Had to fetch my ”red pencil” and remove my ”theoretical answers” one by one. More and more questions arose and the usable responses were fewer and fewer. When I finally was able to abandon the finished model, I could also learn from what I saw and draw conclusions from my own gained experiences .

The same went for politics. When you are young you knew everything about how the world came together. It had its obvious scapegoats. There were black and there was white. And you were absolutely convinced that you were at the "whites" page.

Connections and contexts were so blatant and obvious, that you could not understand how "the others" could be so stupid that they did not saw what we saw.

A slight feeling of complacency colored the politically active years. As time passed and the "truths" with it. Many of the obvious approach from youth and midlife were clouded The connections became more and more complicated and the white was no longer so white.

Something grey was spread over the innocent and obvious. There was considerable disappointment for all of us who most desperately and stubbornly held on to our political philosophy. Many of our answers were simply wrong. That was not more to it... Something that with hindsight was easy to find.

The next phase of life you do not feel so strongly to stand on the barricades and shout. Nevertheless, it will be proved in 20 years, when our actions are put into a larger, historical perspective that those who ”shout” today had not ”the Answers” either.

For how do the truth look like? Who sits on the answers? I have not many today. I'm glad if I can work on formulating questions ...

3. In what "direction" would you steer your last steps?


SHORT REFLECTIONS UPON LIFE

If you only had to take one more step in your life, in which "direction" would you go?
Once again I have thought out loud. *smile* Have no answers myself to that question. Hope that the conversation with you can give some clues.. I want so much. But perhaps it is to write something that may be relevant long after that I no longer exist. To have left a track after me… ...
Yes .. it might be a desire of conceit but in the direction of that intention I wish I will to be able to take my last step ...

Towards what do you want take your last step?


4 The side you do not show on these networks, how does that look ?

When will that part of you get its confirmation? We usually only shows up one of our ”Network halves" but we are so much more, for better or worse.

It becomes a bit curious to know who the person behind the nickname is. Sometimes you catch a glimpse of another person behind the words. Often, I like what I see.

It is in this a little less polished and correct that perhaps the most recognizable is to find. It is not always in the fine words, but perhaps more of our various shortcomings that we recognize ourselves and understand how much we have in common after all.

It is a pity that those of our other "halves" will have such a little space here. We are placed in the tray from the "blog face" we show up. Where we often remain, even if we sometimes make small attempts to escape we slip fairly quickly back in the role wearing everyone's and all expectations. Since that role we can control and that make us feel safe and comfortable. So it's quite understandable that this role may identify ourselves while our "blog shadow " remains unenlightened But that fact does not prevent my curiosity :)

So …The side you do not show up here on these networks, how does that look? Or is that a too personal question? :)

5. If I was young...

If I was young, should I do things in a different way
should my priorities look different?
If I was young, should I choose a different path
should I go with the flow?

No… If I was young I should create a replay
And make exactly the same elections
If I was young I should follows my footsteps
And swim against the stream

If I was young I couldn’t know the costs
Today I still don’t know
More than that I had to pay
And that everything has its prise

But I do not ask anymore
If it was worth it or not
I live with it
Because its me

And I’m no longer young

Are we preprogrammed ? *smile*

In our childhood, the program was maybe installed on the psyche hard drive. Life was then just a "set up" or "run", to use some data terms
We believe that we are free .Vi may have read Sartre and profess ourselves to existentialism, or so we are seeking to defend our faith because it feels better to control than to realize that we are governed

Who want to be programmed?. No, it sounds bad.
But why should you deprive people of their illusions, you might wonder? Why can we not continue to delude ourselves if it feels good?
Yes as long as all goes well, it is probably OK with the unconscious life lie. But when life ”derail” and is totally in the wrong direction then it is good to know that this was already in the "program" although we could not see and know all the components, or did not want to ...
If we had seen or known about it it hadn’t necessary have to end up so badly. Traps are no traps if you can clearly see them .. If you can see the pitfalls so you can go around them. But anyone who thinks that illusion is reality have blinkers on and will easily fall victim to its own black hole.
Therefore, we need to analyze the program and also the program loaders
(So who programmed you ?*smile*)

So we can stay one step ahead and be prepared of what’s coming. Or to continue with data terms, try not to expose us to a hard drive crash.
An updated virus software can be a good life assurance . It can be translated into true friends and good call contacts. People who can see what you can or dare not and therefore warn you in time . People who know how to run a scan disk and in the event of errors found how to "repair" * smile*
What do you know about the unique "program" you "run" and which is called life?
I wonder if one can reformat or eventually upgrade a mental hard drive? :)

My Vision of Love and Peace....

...and my thoughts and reflections on how to get there

First of all I would hope that we all threw our ”masks”
Those who today are so hardly fixed that they more or less are firmly rooted
and integrated into our personalities.

Once we are there we can face the world and one another in an honest and transparent manner. We can see all that which earlier has been hidden and we can react on it and in time.
Just think of all that we then could prevent.

I see the tired mother of four children approaching the breaking point, but want nothing to show for her surroundings. Her last forces used to bring the mask in place.
Once back at home and already in the hall the mask is falling to the floor and the children are made the scapegoat for her exhaustion and despair

I see the external functioning director whose internal is a hell he deaden,
with alcohol as soon as he comes home and then also treat his wife badly

I see his wife as in all these years kept the mask intact before friends and family why the abuse can continue for ever

I see nations hidden themselves behind masks of being a super power and goes on acting as if… with terrible consequences

Like that I could go on with my ”seeing” for ever…

Once the mask are thrown Honesty will come more naturally .
Honesty an aspect in life wordy all our respect, since the best ”monuments” are based on that.

If we dare to show who we really are , with all our faults and shortcomings and our surroundings react in an honest empathic way,
Than I can see ; Light, Love and Peace on our door step.

If so we can not only become better viewed ourselves. We will also look upon others with reborn eyes.

On the following ... also our children will be better seen, confirmed and loved
Their wellbeing is our best life assurance. They are also our greatest hope for a world of love and peace

So if we are to pray ... Let us ask for "thrown masks” and empathetic Honesty
Everything else will then follow as a natural consequence ...

Just a reflection ´…*smile*/Gunilla

Our lives consist of threads which once were weaved in...

Our lives consist of those threads/rags which once were weaved in and which create the pattern of our lives . Much the same as our personality.
I have been thinking a lot of this web comparison and have started to realise that the threads only is not enough to explain the outcome. If the threads are comparable to our experiences and our parents knowledge and contribute only to the visible pattern, the warp is what you cannot se but still has a great impact on the result.


So the warp can very well be compared to our unconscious. The warp stands in relation to the thread as the conscious to the unconscious . What then to say about the loom, without witch we cannot weave. That must be life including the biological heritage from which everything assume. So lets presuppose that we have a loom/life and our parent are those who start to weave our life carpet. They choose the threads they choose the pattern. But not very often is´s a really free choice



In my childhood my mother weaved carpets
and she had to use what she find . She could not afford to pay attention to whether the colours went well together or not or if the pattern was a beautiful one. So most family in my days was not, for many different reasons, given a free choice. Then we get older and one thread after another we can pick ourselves. In that way we will start to contribute with our own stripes in our carpet.
But in our childhood the web was warped that’s a fact we can never escape. And the warp sets the limit for the completed product so do also the loom
Yes we can play with colours in believing we are free. But the warp is like the DNA of the soul and its not changeable during the time of weaving/living.
But we can learn to live with it and even start to like the carpet that once was weaved for us

Life don’t have to be perfect to be loved

Chance/coincidence or meaningful connection/ synchronicity?

In Western science causality has perceived as the only possible link between different events .But the phenomena of modern quantum physics has led to some doubts whether all the events connected with each other are in a causal manner.

It was through own experiences as CG Jung came to believe that there are events that have a meaningful connection and which are not causally, that is, they are not linked under the law of cause and effect, but still hits the same, and it does not depend on chance

Some coincidences affect us so strongly that we can not wave them off as pure coincidence. We may not understand them but we know that they are meaningful. CG Jung called these events "synchronistical." The concept synchronicity has aroused great interest among philosophers, psychologists and scientists.

It was developed during an intensive exchange of ideas between CG Jung and quantum physicist and Nobel laureate Wolfgang Pauli. It all takes place through the subconscious that have various levels .. We have the personal unconscious, which completely belongs to the individuals themselves, but also the collective unconscious which is common to all mankind. At the collective level, the mind is untied and not personal. It is linked to the unconscious of other people and is not limited to the individual's own psyche.

Jung conception of synchronicity is a remarkable contribution to the human thought. The reality beyond our senses veils can look very different than today's scientific claims. This connection between us all can explain some of what you mean when you are talking a bout "We are One" bound together by the collective unconscious.

An exciting thought worthy of further research in I could give numerous examples of strange coincidences. I can sit here and write a about a very particularly topic and at the same time, it will open a debate on television on exactly the same subject, to take one small example.

What do you think? Chance/coincidence or meaningful connection/ synchronicity?

To separate is to die a little...

About separation anxiety

To separate is a tough process whatever it is about…leaving things or persons behind that hurts.. Separations are like dying a bit or at least a part of you is lost.

That part that holds all the memories. and the time which will never return. All those moments that made you to who you are through the closeness you felt and incorporated into your present and demeanour .

Leaving a lifestyle, a partner or just an habit and then start all over with something new have to be processed, even if you like the new that has come into you life.

But what you left also leave an emptiness somewhere within… Leaving the countryside for the town, the house which you have built room for room and move into a sterile apartment. Leaving the wild animals that visited you in the garden and all the birds in your apple trees and now instead of looking at all this just look into the windows of someone else’s.

And that is the easy part, then comes the life that once were lived in the house you left.. Your youth, the childhood of your children, the dreams of a future that now is history, appetite for life, love and passion that belonged to that period of your life, and then all the ”small close things” that were connected to that house and to the 30 year you lived there…

Yeah all separations have to be processed if they are not going to be disabling But separations can also means freedom. Freedom from duty, hard work and worries.. So there is no evil that has no positive effect But no matter what life will go on…*smile’

To walk in grandma’s shoes...

To walk in grandma’s shoes...

Is to remember the land they trampled, with tired feet and long shirts that swept around what then female was.

It's to feel the passage of time hidden in their old worn souls where tribulations and privation dug heavy holes in the ground

It's to feel the poverty under your naked skin and be nailed hands and feet to your home and hearth and freedom a new pair of shoes

Thank you grandma and all the females of that generation. I’m glad I do not have to walk in your shoes and I am grateful that you walked up the path that we now can go on and follow in the stilettos. As we do not even need to soles, but throw, not because they are worn out but because we're tired of them.

So grandma I can tell you that we have got it better economically .

But are the women of today more happy and free?

I do no think so. We are ”nailed” too but to totally different and often extremely superficial things.. So sometimes I wish that we all for just a day could walk in your shoes. And feel the pain from the stones under our sole and moisture that penetrate through the worn leather. Maybe grandma, that should make us appreciate life better by the new perspective that the ”walk” would give us…

I’m sorry grandma that I didn’t save a pair of your old shoes. That should have been a good reminder to me, my children and the generations to come…

Children belong to the “mysterious people”

Children belong to the “mysterious people”

For whom a little dirty stone can turn into a shimmering mountain on whose peak a little princess lives shaped by a piece of a leaf.

She is four years old and she invites me to join that peak which now is a dancing palace for the princess and her prince. - But wait a minute she says I have no prince… She runs around on the land in search of something that she can turn into a prince.

She sees a little currant on the ground with crown and everything needed. That will do… she place it close to the princess on the top of that shimmering mountain and she declare that the dance can begin… I am invited.

I stand there in front of the mountain but do not know how to reach the top. I try to use my grown-up intellect but that doesn’t help me to climb that mountain, because I cannot even see it. I just look at a little stone with a piece of leave and a squashed currant whose red juice has collared half the stone.

- But come on then she says. Don’t you want to join us? Now with a disappointment in her voice. I look at her, and she looks at me. Now she tries to make me enthusiastic by refilling her eyes with expectation.

I move my leg high in a theatrical way and I start to climb. But I know I will never reach this dancing palace on the top of her mountain. Not because I cannot climb but because I cannot ”see”

Her world is created only for the ”mysterious people” I do not belong to them… But every time she invites me she offer me another ”small close thing” to remember and to carefully hide in that special box in my heart marked; loved grandchild ...

Sing me a Song Daddy...

Sing me a song Daddy...

It was more then -30 degrees Celsius out side,. It was at my parents house in the north of Sweden Outside the kitchen window at the bird feeder, we saw a house sparrow about to freeze to death.

My teenage heart was breaking and I looked at my dad and asked what we could do. We can take it in the basement, he said a bit quiet to me so that my mother should not hear. She thought that such operations were somewhat ridiculous

So I did. I stayed in the basement with my bird and now and then my father secretly asked me , how is he? In the morning the bird was dead…

But for me my father became a hero.. He was known as a real harsh man with a terrible temper. But this little bird story showed me his heart of gold…

My God I loved him for that and at his funeral I told him , for the last time , was this his engagement, in my dying bird, had meant to me… It showed me his true face…I´m forever grateful for that…

A ”small close thing” that meant everything to me.. They say that the house sparrows were the birds that god forgot. Since they have no colours… I see the rainbow in them…I see my father…

Some have their colors on the inside...*smile* we just have to open up a bit ..A house sparrow can serve as a key ...

Children are the Symbols of Life

How comes that I sometimes feel closer to a 4 year old child, than to someone who is in the middle of their life? Maybe it’s because of the symbols. Small children live very close to the symbolic and metaphoric world. They are giving full expression to their symbols . And when you get older you find your way back to this mystery which the life represent. This mystery can only be expressed in metaphors or symbols and there we, the small children and older people, can meet almost on the same level.
Someone who is in the middle of their carrier can never meet us there. Their lives are so filled up with “I must” or “ I have to” , These expression are unknown to small children, They live now and know nothing about tomorrow. They have no experiences of time. But many thoughts about the great things in life; Life and dead. They are all small philosophers. But when your are thirty-five most of those kinds of thoughts are gone.

How can I make carrier? How can I best promote myself? Can I afford to buy that villa? and so on. Those questions are for many people the thoughts that’s occupied their minds . How can they reach a four year old child who wants to know what happened to Simba´s (Walt Disney The King of the Lion) farther after he died. Simba could see his dead father in the sky.
That helped me to explain the death for my granddaughter. We had the necessary symbols, without which I don’t known how to explain the death for a little child. How to handle or deal with it without symbols?
Yes there are so many things that I prefer to “discuss” with o child, who still has an opened mind, than to a closed grown up.
When do a child shut up their magical world? When do their stones stop living.?
Maybe it’s necessary but its tragic anyway…

The symbols and the metaphors are those which best can explain our lives, and the children are closest to them. That’s why they, themselves, are the greatest symbol of life.

Who I am furthest inside

Who I am furthest inside.

There is someone who just looks up at times, a bit shyly, among all vanity ..

Who I am furthest inside, is someone I do not always dare to show up, for fear of being attacked in this my innermost who I am. It is only here that we may get hurt.

This our innermost is always our Achilles heel. Therefore, we usually do not want to expose something so vulnerable. It is understandable.. We go on with our superficial derivation maneuvers and scrape along.. It's OK. But of course we all yearn for the closeness that a childish omission can provide.

This to give without thinking of the consequences. To give, something that only a small child can, who unreserved shares its innermost

Think that’s why we love children. *smile*

The Childhood; Like a bubble of soap...

The Childhood passes so quickly and is so vulnerable…


Like a bubble of soap



Fragile as a bubble of soap swirls and dances you

in the shimmering colors of a rainbow

creating a magical world with your glow.



We believe we can catch a bubble we believe we can keep it for ever
tight

but if we try we lose it. Childhood last just one Swedish summer
night

The magic is not there for ever and the dance will end and bubbles
all dissolve



But we were there and saw it, happy for being once involved